The phone call from TGH

What do they say about whispering to the universe? Say something, write something even, and it will boomerang back to you with some kind of answer. Well, I got a phone call from Sherry today from the Toronto General Hospital around 4 p.m. in regards to the next steps after just thinking today I should call but not having the number with me.

Sherry had called my house initially but reached me at work. She told me that Michael wanted her to expedite the process which prompted her to call me and set up the next appointments.

Realizing who was on the other end of the phone made me really anxious. I knew in the back of my head that I wasn't scheduling surgery but I felt panicked about that notion just the same. It felt a little more "real". Anyway, before I got an answer I asked twice, "What do the next appointments entail?" Well, it requires the better part of 2 days so I have to take time off work. Sheesh, this is just for the testing aspect of it. Ok, when is the next available time slots? Monday, July 6 and Tuesday, July 7 I'm scheduled to arrive at Toronto General at 9 a.m.

What are these next tests, I ask? Here goes (in part):

* abdominal ultra sound
* CT
* chest x-ray
* renal scan
* meet with a social worker
* meet with the transplant coordinator
* meet with a psychiatrist (to see if I'm simply not crazy for giving away a perfectly good kidney to a complete stranger for no apparent reason)

The lady ends the conversation telling me she'll send a letter with instructions.

So. Do I take 2 vacation days? Do I call in sick? I ping May to chat with her before she leaves for the day. We meet briefly and I have to explain the circumstances. Her eyes kinda bug out of her head and after she suggests I take some personal days (reminding me I have 3 each year) she tells me that although it's a good thing for me to do I should seriously reconsider going through with this. She also wondered if this was to be made public and I told her I was just going through the tests now and that I could back out at any time so I didn't really care to share the story so soon. I think some people won't understand and I think I'd feel a bit awkward talking about it prematurely.

This particular surgery has been performed for 50 years so there's got to be plenty willing to share their stories.

I feel undecided about my emotions and leave work feeling somber. After arriving home and watching a little TV with Ben and Brittany, Brittany asks if I'm OK, that I seem a little mellow. Besides telling her some strange family issues going on (I'm linking my Care Page but I haven't added any info yet... http://www.carepages.com/carepages/WalterCorey) I explain about the kidney call. After mentioning the psychiatrist Ben hadn't realized why I was doing a 24-hour urine test and said, "You're donating a kidney?" Well so far that is the plan but we'll see.

I have to research more so I look at my Delicious pages and browse through these sites - full of information. Wow, I read about the surgeries but the recovery time I wasn't thinking about much. It seems like I'm going to have to make arrangements with work - to work from home - because recovery is several weeks! Gulp. I've only had gum and laser eye surgery and have never been "put under" so that part also makes me nervous. But I do still feel those things are rudimentary in comparison to multiple sessions of dialysis every week.

Here are the sites I browsed:

http://www.giftoflife.on.ca

http://www.kidney.ca

I want to go as far as I can until they say, OK well the next thing is to actually schedule the surgery. We have a healthy candidate lined up needing your kidney. At that point, I can say "yes" or "no"....