This weekend, May 21st marks 10 years since my brother Rollie gave new life to 2 women and 3 men with the use of his organs. The women, 10 years ago, were 18 and 23 and received both his kidneys. I wonder how they are today. Do the men still see well and what about the man with the heart? He would be 59 this year.
At this special milestone, I feel like I should do something in memory of Rollie. Yes. I donated my kidney... Other than donate a lobe of my liver (maybe when I'm 50) what more can I do? There never seems to be enough ways to show our loss to the world. To show how much we cared for Rollie and how much we miss him. There is no way we can ever know or see what could have been with our brother in our lives. He attended Bonnie's wedding but not mine nor Jackie's. He only knew his niece Riah, but not his nephew Hunter nor his youngest niece Kyra. He never knew a wife nor children. And he never knew that I parented my husband's children during an important stage of my life. He had a cat but never had a dog. He has many cousins, aunts and uncles, and *lots* of friends who remain on Earth not knowing how or where he really is right now... Is he looking down on us, realizing our every move, knowing our thoughts and understanding that we all cared so deeply for him?
Is Rollie just laughing, teasing, jesting about our time here while he is taking it easy, enjoying what is to come? No wet springs and cold winters for him! The first winter without him I knew he wouldn't miss shoveling snow! We would have shoveled the drive-way for him... But that's what he did. He was the handyman for my parents. They were 67 and 62 when their only son passed. Ten years later they are elderly and can't get around like they used to. Dad rarely speaks of him - it's far too painful. And I can always hear the sadness in Mom's voice - it comes straight from her heart.
I don't think I would have appreciated my brother as much if it were not for his accident. I probably wouldn't have appreciated my sisters, my parents, my friends as much either. I think I am a more sensitive, emotional person because of Rollie. I think I am a *better* person too. *
I found some great quotes by the awesome Helen Keller:
The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched ... but are felt in the heart.
I seldom think of my limitations, and they never make me sad. Perhaps there is just a touch of yearning at times; but it is vague, like a breeze among flowers.
What we have once enjoyed we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.
Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.
Optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope or confidence.
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